The Big Easy

I'm not talking Louisiana. I'm talking life. Remarked to my sister the other day that I had NO clue how much becoming a mom to one teeny tiny being could change so much of my life. Moms *get* it. I did not get it until I was given the mom shoes to wear. You know the ones, cracked heels and toenails that need a pedicure badly. I used to judge think to myself that those women looked undone. I mean, c'mon. How hard could it be to get yourself ready and actually do your hair? Fool with a CAPITAL f, was I. I didn't know any better, but shame on me still.

I think I am gaining a tad more experience and wisdom each day about perspective and priorities. And, besides It's not really good to wash my hair every day anyway, my curls like day 2 better. Showering is a daily must on my list. Teeth brushing, well on the days when I remember to do it (like 9/10 days) I call it good. Sleep is a luxury (can't say it's over-rated because I am not so far gone that I have forgotten what good sleep is like. Don't get me wrong, O sleeps through the night and I am wildly grateful, but part of her sleep time is my *get it done/time to myself/prayer* time. Again, priorities.)

I have been open to easy things. That sounds bad. Rephrase. I am open to finding easier ways of doing things, open to not trying to make an *event* of many things in my daily life, and keeping things simple. I hear the wise mommas who are on the road ahead of me say that this won't last forever. I will someday, have time again to tend to those cracked heels, keep up on the toenails and perhaps even sleep 24 hours if I so sweetly desire. I just have to hang in at least 18 or so more years . . .


McDonald's drive through, $1 unsweetened ice teas
leftovers on the nights that I work
one huge load of laundry instead of 2 small/medium loads
cute and comfy flip flops for summer
threw away my *25 hour* foundation and stopped stressing about the extra hour in a day it challenged me to
short prayers are still prayers
PBJ works just fine for lunch
standing up against a wall, with a tennis ball between us and rolling it around helps take knots out of my back

Just a few *easies*.

Some of the not-so-easy things these days-

Parenting. I am keenly aware of wanting to form my daughter well with character, faith and morals. In working this past week to teach her about obedience I am really seeing the strength and endurance it takes from a parent to impart these things to a creature who wants the complete opposite. Not that these creatures are evil in anyway, I just don't see them bursting forth from the womb with a desire to do what is right. I see that as our job to teach them. I am excited to be at this place with O. I pray for the grace to stay willing, to rely on God, and to remember the greater importance of these small lessons. As a teacher, I used to plan my years backward. I would look at where the students needed to be by the end of my year with them and then plot down on the calendar a rough sketch of what needed to be taught all the way to the fundamentals of how I ran my classroom in the very beginning. I see this with my parenting too. I want O to be a responsible, hard working, faith filled and loving person (other things too), and how I model those for her, teach her and provide her with experiences to enhance them will aid in getting her to adulthood and self sufficiency. God help me.

Figuring out my faith. I was raised in a faith. I love that faith. Something about it isn't working for me these days. Another journey, really? I'm a little tired from the ones of recent, wouldn't mind a breather.

Friendships. Someone shared on fb an article about older (uhuh, I am now in that crowd) people and friendships. The article commented that friendships get harder as we get older. Our focuses change. No longer are we consumed with social gatherings, phone conversations, etc. We are focused on our spouses and kids. Again, the priorities fit in here. I struggle though. I see some people having close friendships and it looks so easy from the outside. I have a ton of friends, it overwhelms my DH. I don't talk to them often, and I feel really out of touch. I miss the days of long ago, spending upwards of an hour on the phone with one just chatting away, sitting at lunch or going shopping and talking most of the time. I miss the *knowing* that happened in those close friendships. I really miss it.

I will share one final note about myself as we are coming upon one of my favorite seasons. BTS.
Butter the seeds?
Bat the socks?
Be the sucker?
nope.
Back to School!
I have a love affair with office supplies. My DH burst out laughing when I admitted this a few years ago. I could spend hours and more hours in just one office supply store and be completely almost fulfilled. I love post its, pens, paper, folders, calendars, stacky things, sticky things, pencils, mechanical pencils, notepads and more!

Denvah

I hear it in my mind as if a smokey-voiced tiny older woman from Boston is saying Denver.

It's on my mind. Ok, just outside of Denver, Centennial really, on my mind. My 14 mo. older sister and her family  moved there recently. O and I traveled there last week for a short vacay. Mom and dad were there also - mini family reunion minus my brother and other sister. It was nice, I forget the Lamy sense of humor when I am not around a lot of us often.Tis a beautiful thing. Though, I never feel original in it, I tend to feel like I am just imitating one sibling or another when I make a crack or witty statement. Felt real good to laugh a lot - the kids brought that on with their silliness and personalities, and O did her share as well.

Some of the biggest laughs were with O as she experienced bubbles for the first time. E, my nephew was a great and patient teacher and man, could he blow HUGE bubbles! A, my niece was pretty good at it too, getting creative with the different wands.

Then, we all got a good laugh at this next scene. My sister's new dryer wasn't working well . . . she thought they bought a lemon. Turns out, our "fix-it" father connected the swallows they kept seeing to the dryer vent and viola. This is the mess he cleaned out of there. Dryer works perfect. 

 O was chillin on the swing in her new floppy hat.












She, who was whining about her toes barely touching the water, soon found out how fun mud was to play with.

 3 of the 4 cousins and only one was throwing a fit when asked to stop playing in the mud for a picture. Guess who that was?






O had the time of her life in that little stream, in a matter of 30 minutes.

           This birdhouse brought me much joy every morning as I sipped my coffee on the back porch.

These two were almost inseparable during our stay there. 

This little guy was a master at picking raspberries, they grew right in their backyard.

 Ahhh, the 4 of them together with 3 1/2 smiles!

Most touching memory of the trip . . . 

walking into my nephew's room and finding this on his bed. 

When they moved to Colorado a few years back, I made each of them a pillow 

(bought pillows, printed out a message on iron on sheets and put them on the new pillow cover). 

All 3 of them still have the pillows and they are nicely worn!

The poem reads: Here is a hug from me to you, when you are sad or feeling blue, 

always know that I love you, 

love Auntie Paula.

hereinthisplacetoday

wishing. 
i am feeling a bit low/lazy/undone today. no capitals, i will preserve my energy.
every now and then one of these days comes up from the depths. i could sleep all day, cry a river, not speak a word or see another soul. in all of that i hear something profound. i am in need. a few brief moments that i have had to myself the last week to indulge in my latest addiction aside from popcorn, words with friends. i think i am up to 6 or 7 games going at the same time. i am a little insane. i feel like it is spurring some health back to my brain, feeling that it's less mushy with this "exercise" for it. i recognize that it is not enough. why do i feel such guilt to recognize this part of me? i'm catholic, i come from dysfunction, i am a mom . . . there are three reasons enough right there. i find myself even anxious this.very.moment. to type as fast as i can while my little one is napping, because when she wakes my "me" time is gone. it becomes "our time" which is nourishing to a different part of me.

i was having a hard time breathing this morning. not physically. the overcast outside was relevant to the overcast inside me today. i decided to not let it overrun me so we went to the park. o, me, and a bagful of popcorn. she ate it on the way there, shared a few morsels with the ducks (which never seem to look like the ducks in her books at home by the way), and ate more as we sat and enjoyed the fresh humid air. i feel a little better. 

wishing i was superwoman is hard to let go of. i don't know if a lot of women struggle with this or just a chosen few of us who come from "where" i come from. i have known women who just let things go, struggle not (at least that we outsiders see), and can just be. i seem to have a never-ending list of things to be done building in my mind. perhaps i wouldn't feel like such a defeated worker if i just chucked the list? from where does that ability come, i would like to know. someone challenged me this week to just attempt 5 things a day. she is not a wife or mom, she doesn't get it, in my opinion. to me, that would be 5 things in addition to: diaper changes, playtime, feeding times, redirecting/teaching, dishes, bathtime, etc. these are tasks that need to be done daily. extras would be, laundry, reading, exercise, errands, menu planning, etc. ahhhh, head is swirling already. i used to think i couldn't wait until i was in this part of my life. similar to a kid who can't wait to be 16 and driving i suppose. not that i don't absolutely love my dh and my kid, i do. guess i just feel a bit lost these days in my vocationS and running a business (i love that a lot too). sort of like the new m&m candies that are out with the pretzels inside. . . salty and sweet.

wishing these small tasks could just get done already . . .
transferring pics from camera to computer
organize pics on the computer
vacuum out the van
get rid of o's cups that are not spill-proof before i lose my mind over spilled drinks
file a stack of things that need to be filed
untangle 3 necklaces that have been conjoined for months now
take my sk---y clothes out of my closet . . .no, not skanky clothes, try again . . . ski--y
dust the baseboards (what? am i freakin crazy?)
pull weeds
plant flowers - wait, the cilantro never made it. i might need to rethink this and get silk plants
organize o's paperwork from when she was born up to now - yep i am that procrastinator these days
make the packing list for the soon approaching trip to see auntie trishy, uncle raul and the cousins next week
clean off the top of my dresser
put batteries in a number of toys and flameless candles that need them
research this paleo diet i keep reading/hearing about



tis raining outside. i mean really raining. i hear kids playing in it, and if o was awake we would be doing the same. i would like some of that freedom today, breaking away from the everyday rules and regs of needs/have to's. 
it feels good to hear it, smell it and watch it. i love nature. i used to love, in college, sitting out on the porch in ohio and watching the snow fall. it would get so quiet you could hear it. it looked like glitter coming down as it came through the street lights' illuminating power. it was magnificent to this cactus-grown girl. i didn't like it so much when it plastered the city, covered my car, and froze my locks though.

with as much about myself or the details of my life that i would like/wish to change, i have a lot to be grateful for. at the end of the day, i think that is a good place to be. 

perhaps a personal retreat is in order soon. perhaps a night out with some girlfriends, or a massage and pedicure? something, that's for sure. i heard, not too long ago, that it is better to give from our abundance than to give from our depletion. makes sense. 


cheeseburger pie for dinner, easy and might fulfill the desire to bake today

Like Sands Through the Hourglass . . .

I used to be an avid Days of Our Lives fan back in "the" day.

Super glad I no longer partake in those wildly bad acting-sex infused-shots of other people's drama.

I have been keenly aware lately of how fast the last two years have gone by. 

Noticing how our home has changed, our 2nd anniversary around the corner, 

the sizes of clothing that O now wears, and how her foot is almost the size of my hand 

(it used to be 1/4 it's size). A lot to be grateful for.

Haboob. 

Could a better word have been thought of for this? 

C'mon, really? 

I chuckle and feel a little dirty all at once saying it. 

Nevertheless, it's that time 'o year. Hot as Hates and dust.y! 

Amidst swimming lessons, work, everyday stuff, family, personal journeying . . . .

I stumbled across some precious things and was able to capture them. 

"Planet of the monkeys" have become a favorite toy of O's lately. I keep finding them in strange places all around the house, she loves hiding things. Have been searching for a new 2-pack of pacifiers that I bought a few weeks ago . . . she carried it off and it is nowhere to be found. 

O discovered these teeny cans of Pepsi, 

carried them around most of the day. 

She is rarely without a smile.

My new favorite place, Bounce U. 

O wasn't quite sure what to do in this tunnel, 

and the darn thing constantly moved. 

Especially when I kept trying to go in and help her. 

It was hopeless, comical but hopeless!

Oh the torture of being forced to play! 

On our walk home from the pool, we spied this tiny bird egg. Speckled and undamaged, it was breathtaking.

This $4 chair has brought O more joy than I ever imagined. Multiple times a day she is caught in there reading a story, 

aloud to herself. Also multiple times a day she tries to "tame" Paco with the chair as if she were a lion tamer for the circus. 

He doesn't so much enjoy that, but she sure laughs heartily!

Summer time means popsicles! 

Fruit juice + ice cube trays and craft sticks = deliciousness.

This blasted heat makes us all tired!

Kuhn-fesh-uhns of One Middle-Age Momma

I don't always come to a "complete" stop at all stop signs. 


I get anxious checking out at the grocery store.


I have a favorite grocery cashier and I seek him out when I shop. Not a crush, he is an older man - gentle and friendly.


I love reading magazines, and I do tear out pages with recipes I like.


Coupons make me giddy.


I sometimes create a shorter version of a story as I read it to O before bedtime, may even skip a page or two. I'm typically exhausted by then, and I'm glad she can't read yet.


Sometimes spot cleaning the tile floor with a Clorox wipe is good enough for me.


I love doing laundry, hate putting it away.


As I look around our house  . . . apparently I don't like putting a lot of things completely "away", I create bits of clutter.


Poor spoken grammar B.U.G.S. me.


I can never spell 'cinnamen/cinnoman/cinemin', or 'recieve' on my own!


I sing in the car.


I wish our dog was a cat some a lot of times.


I hit snooze at least 2 times every morning.


My a** is killing me. How does one have muscle issues in there anywhere? I do not do "freaky things" I promise. I barely exercise either. Perhaps that's it.


I am envious of pregnant women these days.


I feel better about myself when I am skinny. Who am I kidding . . . I have never "felt" skinny, don't think people who have always struggled with their weight ever "feel" otherwise.


My place of quiet is lovely (in my mind). An Adirondack chair, an amazing beach and a somewhat cloudy day with me, myself and I.


I ate a deep fried Snickers at the State Fair a few years ago. I still think about it once and a while. Yum.


I have 3 email accounts. One (my personal), has over 500 unread emails, another (for couponing) has over 1,000 and the other (for work) has almost 100. I keep up on the important ones.


I use quotey fingers at least once a day, sometimes 2 or 3.

Observe & Report

(metaphorically) Standing outside my life today, peering in. Listening. Soaking it in.

I hear the computer virus catcher program thingy beeping as it apparently finds bad things that need to be eliminated from our computer. I wish there could be an eliminator to catch the bad people who make those bad things.

(two for one) I hear the air conditioning on, and feel a slight breeze on my arm. Been a while since I shaved that forest so I can feel the hairs moving. Yes. I shave my arms.

I hear quiet in the rest of our home. 2 loves sleeping peacefully and no damn dogs barking at this minute. Our 80 lb furry child is sacked out too, on the carpet beside me. Not to be included with the aforementioned 2 loves - this creature gets  his own place in my heart, just not sure what place that is these days. I "love" him best after he has had a bath and he is not under my feet in the kitchen!

I hear the squeals of wakefulness from O's crib.

I see toys. Massive amount. Momma can't "get down" like she used to. I can see 40 coming quickly . . . and . . . my back is out of service for today. O has not learned the art of putting things away yet and I am okay with that. For today. Tomorrow may have a different story.

I see a man working hard to provide for his family. Comes home to us each day.
Eats his jicama/lemon/chile creation as if he were a kid eating candy, and rocks his guitars like no other I know. I love him.

I see a teeny lady. She is so gentle and precious sometimes, so dainty. The other sometimes, she is a hard player, full-on eater, and gettn jiggy with it dancer. Cracks. Me. Up. Love overflows for her.

I see a woman. Feels like some days I know parts of her and some days not, there are a ton of memories shared with her and some can't be remembered. She scurries, works, goes, does, is, cares. I pray for her.

I see a bachelor-pad turned home for a family. It is nice. Curtains hung, dinner table ready to share a meal (That is, when the mail/coupons/ads/O's toys are cleared away which is rarely).

I feel a sense of calm in the midst of every-day chaos life. Being out of commission with a painful back and doing a toxicity detox allows me a few different perspectives on what is truly important in the tiny world called my life. Fr. Juan reminded me about the importance of daily time with God. I will get back on that routine.

I feel a call to prayer for so many things, it could be a full time job. I am honored. Simply to lift people up to my Creator who I know has a great plan in mind for each item/person/situation I pray for.

I feel health around the corner. Much like I could hear O's voice telling me she was almost here when I was meditating as I pushed that 8lb 8oz-hairy creature of love out of my body over a year ago. It was a memorizing experience. So is this. Self care - if I could get a handle on you in my life we would be besties. I'm trying!

I feel joy when my husband teases me about how many people I know and can call friends. I think he is still overwhelmed by our wedding, and keeps learning of more friends as the days go by. Poor guy, can't keep 'em straight, I don't expect him too. I'm just gonna keep feeling blessed.

I feel a warm body and a plethora of silky hair cuddling up on my thigh as I write this. She munches on a pretzel stick, using her 5 frontal teeth to bite it. It makes me giggle inside to no end.

I taste a slight metal taste in my mouth. Yuck. The detox is working. Heavy metal toxicity is not fun. I never even liked that kind of music! baha ha ha ;)

I have no taste for a bunch of things right now. Meat - yuck. I do however still have a hankerin for a cuppa. 5 days left my dear friend!

Ok, I admit. I tasted cracked down on some movie popcorn today. Totally cheated on my detox. Aren't rules meant for breaking?

Made - Had - Am.

Mmmm. Sippin on a strawberry lemonade slushee, homemade thank you very much.
The batch with a dash of tequila in it is gone.
This one tastes almost as good.
O is sitting on the floor beside me, reading a story about Jesus to herself while brushing her hair with my hair pick.
I am stealing a few quiet minutes while DH naps before work, the dishwasher finishes it's cycle and the laundry is laundering.

Yesterday was Sunday. I slept in. Anxiety comes full force when I do this. I feel like I have missed out on "early" time to get things done when the house is quiet and I am "alone". Silly, really I wish I could just sleep in and enjoy it. I knew my body needed it so I indulged. Wish my mind was on the same page as my body. Once I got into some sort of routine for the day I started to feel more normal. I spent some real time with my step-son which was for me a great learning and practicing experience. Such a talented young man. Struggles like any other teenager, I am glad to be my age today, but has some unique ones as well. I pray for him. We talked about the journey of faith and I tried to share gently the importance of finding for ourselves what fits for us. Really coming into owning what we believe because it is our free choice to do so. Someday perhaps he will feel comfortable with his choices and they will be like gold to him instead of holding fear as they do today.

With a list of 999,999 things to do (just shy of a million) - business things, household things, personal things, mommy things, etc.etc.etc.- I chucked it all and gave myself permission to just do what came natural to me. I ended up cooking things most of the afternoon and it was glorious!


I made:

Strawberry pretzel salad  - recipe here
Porkchops - plain and simple, pan fried and cooked in the broth for about an hour.
Golden wedge potatoes - amounts depend on the size of your glass baking dish and how many you want to make. I generally use a potato per person. Peel and slice potatoes about 1/4 inch thick. Lay them in the baking dish half on top of the one before it, usually 3 rows is all I can get out of a 9x13 dish. Cover with melted butter, enough to wet them well. Sprinkle breadcrumbs over the tops of the potatoes and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes or until the taters are tender. Delish!
Carrots and peas - nothing to wow you here
Homemade croutons - 6 slices of bread (I used gluten free) cut into small squares, enough melted butter or olive oil to coat the pieces well, 1 tbsp ea. of garlic powder, dill, parsley flakes and a dash of salt. Could also add parmigiana cheese. Spread out on parchment paper, on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 15 minutes - toss and turn over and bake another 15 min. Let cool and then keep in an airtight container.

I continued into today. . .
Salsa - always ends up with whatever I have around for veggies, pulsed in the food processor, added with a good amount of salt. A dash of cumin also adds marvelous flavor!
Chicken Taquitos - recipe here - I only added the juice from the salsa to my chicken and I used Cacique Mexican cheese instead. I also fried them, shame on me.
Strawberry lemonade slushees - 1 cup lemon juice (6-7 lemons), 2-3 cups water or ice, 1 cup sugar, 2 cups of strawberries. Mix lemon juice and sugar in the blender. Add strawberries and mix. Add ice and tequila if you so desire, blend on highest setting to crush the ice.
A green salad with tons of yummies in it - no need to splain this one
Mexican Rice - 2 cloves of pressed garlic , 1/2 onion chopped small, chicken broth, small can of tomato sauce. Brown on medium heat the garlic, onion and rice. Once a nice golden brown, cover the rice with enough chicken broth that it floats really well. Pour the can of tomato sauce in, in a circular pattern. DO NOT stir this together (not sure why but every Mexican I know says this). Cover and simmer on low heat for 10- 15 min. Check to make sure the rice is plumping up and has plenty of broth left to soak up. You may need to add a little more broth - I have made this so many times, but have no idea how much I actually use). Keep it covered to cook for another 5 - 10 minutes or until plump and the broth is all soaked up. Salt to taste
Guacamole - just mashed it up, added a dash of lime juice and salt.
Mmmm Mmmmm good!



I had:

Two near death experiences this week -

 with customer service that is. 

Customer service is just about dead these days! 

One was at my least favorite but much needed store these days. 

Price matching. 

No ads needed, so they say. 

So said the clerk as he was checking the ads on a few prices I quoted.

 WTH! 

At least 10 people behind me in line by this point, 

because of course I put all my price matching items at the end of my stuff 

so I have time to actually get organized and spout out the prices from my notebook 

(that I ever-so-carefully write in the price and what store). 

The line kept growing. 

One item I must have written down the incorrect store, 

because when he asked me to find it in the ad I couldn't. 

Coulda been that I was so flustered by this point and my blood pressure was beginning to boil! 

I gave him an earful about him just having told me that we DIDN'T need the ads 

but that he was checking my prices? 

WTH? 

They were not outlandish prices, nor do I look like a person who is trying to get a $5 something for $0.01! That sounds so judgmental of me, truly I don't mean it that way at all. 

The last item he checked me on I, again, could not find it in the meat section of the ad 

but I distinctly remembered seeing these pork chops for $0.99 a pound. 

Of course when I got home, I checked my ad and sure as @#%t! 

they were advertised on the back page, not in the meat section.

 I was more than angry, and had I enough calmness, 

I would have returned to the store with my ad to prove that little punk wrong. 

I think what angered me most was his complete lack of respect, 

behaving as if I was some sort of thief with my "ad prices".

 It was in the way he spoke to me and displayed the ads with an attitude 

for me to then find the items for him. 

At one point he remarked that his manager was right over there if I wanted to speak with her. 

Had there not been the 10 -15 people in line behind me, 

who were hissing and huffing by now, 

and if I could have caught my breath 

I just might have spoken to that there manager. 

You can bet that next week 

I will have my ads ready to go if they pull that again. 

Or perhaps, I might just choose to forget about this crappy store all together!

I am:

Currently hearing something that sounds like water dripping. Can't figure out where it is coming from.

Waiting for laundry to finish so I can put the last load in the dryer and head.to.bed!

Filled with greatness and gratitude for time with friends and family this weekend - and not too mention, a few extra hours with my DH!

Committed to prayer on some pretty important things.

Becoming more intentional to be more conscious in my life. Sounds funny. It isn't.

Soooo grateful for the presence of God in my life, in my business and in my family.

Sad for some things going on with some people I love dearly. Praying, I am.

Hoping to be done with some thank you cards soon, have been workin on them for almost a week. Yikes.

Having mixed feelings about some "me" time tomorrow - 2 hours. Excited, anxious, expecting. Pray, I will.

Pretty proud of myself.

In love with my Mary Kay skin care and Lash Love mascara! You rock Char!

Soooooooooooooooooooooo wanting to garden. Cilantro seeds haven't sprouted yet . . . been a few days.

Not sure if I am made for gardening - did I kill the cilantro already?

Seeing this beautiful image of Jesus blessing his disciples before he Ascended (our church calendar), I feel peace. That's a great image to fall asleep with!

Good Night.

The Tornado My Daughter Can Be

Seriously, you get me if you have kids in your home.
One of a lot of things are around my living room and house this evening.
My DH is currently searching for the match to his favorite pair of shoes that the "tornado" was trying to walk in      
    earlier today.
She is obsessed with our shoes.
Anything on our bathroom counter.
The magic toilet paper spinner.
Our silverware.
ANYTHING.
It is cute.
Most of the time.
Not when either of us big people are in a rush and need the pair of something that she has moved one of
     them to truly only our God in Heaven knows where. Oh vey.

Snuggle time has been abundant lately. She is in a total "lovey" stage - kissing, hugging, snuggling just about anything. Yes, even daddy's smelly shoes. She loves on us too. It is beyond sweet. Her teeth continue to come in like popcorn. Two side ones on the top level are busting through. Low grade fever and crankiness prove it. So do the extra snuggles and attention she wants. I am soaking it up. There have been a few times already in her growing independence that she chooses not to be snuggly or lovey-dovey and I know those will only increase in amount as the years come quickly. So, I'm soaking up what I can for today and I LOVE it. I love her. Some days still can't believe how she came to be but then again the heart of God is a mystery in my faith and that is where I believe she came straight from.

My dog STINKS! whew. Just came by to see what crumbs might lay beneath my feet, of which he found none but he generously left his scent. PEW. Even had a bath yesterday. Spends 98.2% of his time outside, sunbathing and his sweat(?) reeks after that!

So - with life happening, business growing, marriage growing, motherhood transforming me, home-making transforming me . . . I am quite happy about some things.

• I will be doing a charity Haircutting event for Paz de Cristo in July to help with their hydration for the homeless drive. I felt the nudge to be open to such an event and the details are falling into place without much effort on my part. Thank you God - it'll be whatever You desire it to be.
• I am really enjoying my meal planning. Stop laughing. I do tend to be a bit type-A personality but I also feel gifted with organization, planning and leadership roles. The last few years have not lent themselves to much of this for me, various reasons why, too boring to get into. It feels super good to be utilizing these parts of me once again. I am trying recipes I wouldn't have tried before and I am enjoying the art of cooking which I haven't much enjoyed in the past. I am no Giada de Laurentiis by any means, but I'm feeling good 'bout what's happenin in my kitchen.

These yummies were our kabobs for dinner tonight. I want to research possible marinades for veggies on the kabobs so they don't end up burnt like some may or may not have tonight.

• My creative-ness is coming back. Haven't felt it for a w.h.i.l.e. It feels good. Dad mentioned that he hung a prayer board for my sister K while they are in Omaha visiting. Instantly my mind went berserk (in a good way) and there O and I were at Hobby Lobby. I searched a little for items and came home to put her down for a nap. Cleared off the kitchen table and prayed. Came up with this - have't done a bulletin board in years since teaching.

• I feel hungry. Not literally at all - "stuffed" if you catch my drift. Still working on that. No, not constipated! Hungry for learning, growth. In my parenting, in my spiritual life and in a combination of both. Have found a few great resources lately and look forward to movement in these areas. My knees look a little to clean and smooth these days, they need to be used in prayer more. Starting a committed prayer for DH, for O and for myself. I am convicted in all 3 relationships of the great need/sacrifice of prayer and perspective. Oh good Lord, assist me. I am lazy. But. I want my daughter to know YOU, I want to know YOU more deeply. I want my marriage to deepen in YOU.
• I took a step toward something I have been talking about for about a year now. Gardening. Not sure why excuses have kept coming up. I bought a starter kit. Literally a starter. Cilantro. I love it. Is there a patron saint of gardening? I remember someone giving me a houseplant when I was pregnant and being so stinkin worried about it and the fact that I have never been able to keep a living plant alive in my house, how was I going to keep a tiny human alive? It has all worked out. Perhaps now I have a leg to stand on and look that fear of plants right in the face. Cilantro - here I come. 

Ending on a few funny notes . . . 

Driving on Gilbert Road and noticed a new restaurant, 

"Boombozz" Taphouse. 

I almost burst out laughing and with disgust at the same time. 

I think I heard that term used in a derogatory way when I was younger 

when someone was referring to a woman's . . . set of . . . you know whats.  

I don't like the name.

O has been practicing eating with toothpicks. 

Thanks Neighbor Jess! 

She works hard to "stab" her food items 

and is oh so proud when they end up in her mouth on the toothpick. 

O and I share a love of jewelry. 

Apparently a love of Starbucks as well. 

This is from the coffee I got for free today. 

As I was heading toward the drive through, 

a red Toyota Camry came around the corner 

and went right in front of me. 

I didn't feel cut off necessarily.

I noticed a child in the carseat on the rear seat 

and figured she needed a pick-me-up as much as I did. 

When I got to the window to pay, the employee told me 

that the woman felt terrible for cutting me off 

and so paid for my drink. 

Sooo sweet. 

The coffee tasted even better due to her generosity.

Catchin up.

Sitting here at almost 9:15 pm. waiting for my gf pizza and salad to be delivered.
Paid the extra $2 for delivery cuz I am 2tired to go get it my damn self.
Hubby and child are sound asleep and I got home from work just a teeny bit ago.
One of those days where I was so into my work (enjoying it), timing was just about perfect with each person but I didn't have a chance to eat or sit down for more than 2 minutes.
Grateful for a full day of work and super clients.
One in particular is a single mom, an uh.may.zing. woman.
I know for a fact she has no idea how amazing she really is.
One of the most beautiful, generous and faithful people I know.

Mmmm.. . 

pizza, salad with homemade croutons and a tall frosty sangria soda.

 Nummy nummy, as my daughter says. 

I think I have a balance disorder.
I keep trying to find balance in my life but it's not working.
Perhaps I am working to hard to achieve it.
I know relaxation and refueling are two things I don't do well.
I'm sure some people in this world take care of those things first.
That would make sense.

Anger.
Me?
Well, the woman who let her sonS pee from inside the pool area, right on to the basket ball courts the other day didn't make me happy.
AND, the fact that a nurse made a mistake and gave our daughter one of her immunizations a few months early, didn't make me smile.
Finding out that the roses I had drying outside are no longer there makes me sad (d--n dog).
I've been pondering anger lately.
Not this silly kind of anger.
Real, righteous anger.
Didn't think I had any in me.
Heard a speaker recently talk about how women are generally "stuffers", emotionally that is.
I know it's a generalization and I usually am not a fan of those.
This one got me thinkin though
It's hard to love when you are angry.
Let me take that back.
It's hard to love when I am angry.
At this point I am not sure what I am angry about but I feel it.
I have been irritable and grouchy for a little while (that I'll admit too, ha ha).
I can't change what I am not conscious of, so I'm taking this one to prayer.
It's been a long 38 years . . . if something's stuck in there it's time to move it out.

So, it's been a while again since I sat down and had some one on one time with this keyboard. . .

There have been bracelets to wear

A yummy chicken and broccoli casserole to make

A visit with grandmemere (great grandmother)

Tiny statues of Jesus to carry around and kiss

A new splash pad to play at

A baseball cap to be worn
(without a smile though, she wasn't too happy that momma disturbed her for a picture)

And, how could I forget . . . on Mother's Day we went
to our local cemetery to honor my Mother-in-law who passed a way years ago. 

Life is full.

Life is not perfect.

Life is moving ahead.

Life is a gift, in all forms.

Uh. May. Zing.

Rotelli Pesto and Chicken from Picazzo's, gf pasta
The art of getting out of bed some mornings
Having my hair cut and colored
Lemon cookies from Paradise Bakery that are gf
The mother-daughter relationship at 15 months old
The rate at which diapers are changed in one single day
Being self-employed in a career that I soooo enjoy
Aside from "accomplishments", what some people live through in a day and come out still "standing"
My brother called me today
Aforementioned brother, referred a friend to me for hair services
The New Adventures of Old Christine sitcom
My homemade salsa
A post it note next to the computer with my DH's writing . . . the mass times for Saturdays at the local churches - no more constantly asking each other what time mass starts
Roses
Coming to acceptance of who I am and who I am not
The diaper study is ohhhhhhhver
Tuning into my daughter while she plays and discovers
. . .

Photographer, I am not. . .
This second Mother's Day  DH and O woke me up (before 7:00 am, let me just throw that in), serenading me with a traditional song in Spanish for mananitas. The teeny maraca player gave up and just jumped on the bed, but DH sang beautifully. For the curious . . .the "D" in DH means Dear, not Damn. (lol)

Starbucks and a yummy new breakfast dish filled our bellies - recipe here - Caramel Banana French Toast Bake.

(one of my bff's these days)

A dozen roses' aroma fill the living room along with a beautiful card and gift. I had seen the framed artwork at Kirkland's Home store. It was instant love. DH brought it home for me. Rearranging the picture wall was fun. Sort of. 

(roses are one of my favorite flowers)

(Even had a 15% off coupon for this beauty!)

My favorite restaurant these days is Picazzo's because they have a fabulous gluten free menu and the food actually tastes like food. Moms ate for free that day. Thank you!

Challenged.

Drained.

Focused.

It has never been said, relationships/parenthood/growth experiences are easy. Trying to keep mindful of the higher purpose in these things, the reality of them today, and the gift they are meant to be. 

I am blessed by God hugely in things, even when they are a struggle. Often times it is my perception that needs to be changed and then I can see the blessing. Sometimes it is He allowing me to struggle - so that I can realize - I need to let go - and let Him. Someday this will all make sense?

One Talented Kid & Lists

Ok, so perhaps this isn't "talent". But it sure kept us entertained for some time this afternoon! She ended up biting the bowl and tilting her head back a little and the bowl stayed over her eyes. She thought it was wonderful. I soaked in her creativity. We both giggled and giggled.







Things I feel I am constantly looking for:
the good bottle (it's my favorite bottle of O's but disappears frequently)
my phone
one of the three pacifiers
for dinner to magically appear already made in my refrigerator
sanity?!
more time
the teeny eyebrow brush that has broken off the stick it came on
the large green popcorn bowl


Things I am grateful for today:
time with friends
seeing my friend's kids take great care of O when we spend time together
coupons coming in the mail to me
Fry's mailers with recipes and coupons
my hardworking husband
the miracle that is my daughter
rice chex, they are gluten free
that the grill had propane so I could prepare dinner
my salon appointment book being so full
that I know I am one amazing woman
to be able to move beyond resentment
quiet
that my parents are safe on their road adventure to see the other 9 grandkids
great news on some medical tests for me
other people sharing their experiences - reminds me I am not so unique


Things that I find irritating:
styrofoam being touched, can't stand the sound of it - makes my teeth itch
my teeth itching
non accidental mispelings  misspellings
red light cameras - too much anxiety comes as I go through the intersections, even with a green light!
O screaming at a super high pitch while she is pointing to something she wants
men who don't hold open doors for women
forgetting to get the coffee maker ready for the next morning
not having coffee ready when I wake up in the morning
expectations

Things that make me chuckle:
O walking around with a tissue at her nose, pretending to blow - 'cept she is blowing out of her mouth
seeing people belting out song lyrics while driving alone - I love it!
people's accents
hearing new words each day from the daughter that never ceases to amaze me
that our 80lb pit bull thinks he is still 4 months old
some of the thoughts in my head
hearing people laugh
O's devout love of the holy water fonts at church
the conversations O has with herself as she sees herself in the mirror - the smiles she gives are priceless

Muy Caliente . . . Tomato, Tomahhto

Translation - "very hot". 

Nope I am not tooting my own horn, I just bit into something freakin hot in the salsa I made today. Yikes. Good thing I have a cold, frosty gf beer to cool off my throat! Definitely not the same as non-gf beer, but it will do the trick tonight. 

Tomato, Tomahhto. My daughter looked like one last night. Poor thing - huge allergic reaction. Tears, scratching, more tears (from momma), and finally Benadryl. A call into the allergist/immunologist today secured an appointment later this week. Really not satisfied with the two answers I have gotten from our pediatrician. He's great otherwise, but momma's intuition trumps his lackadaisical attitude on food allergies. I have enough experience with these for a few people! Seriously though, we think it is tomatoes causing this reaction. 

So, it's been a while. Yep for a few things . . . but since I blogged last. I am crazy busy but in an almost good sort of way. I am one amazing woman. You are also an amazing woman/man. Each setting out to do our best - not our worst. I am amazed by individuals, even myself. I am busier now with work than I have been in a long time. Guess that stepping out in faith really paid off. I don't guess. I know! I also know who my "Father" is and He sure loves me! 

Got a letter in the mail the other day. A certified one. Felt anxious for a bit then it subsided. Finally had the letter in my hands - only good thing about it was a final paycheck. The other part was an actual letter. Didn't read it, didn't need too. I am at such peace - didn't need to have that disturbed, had a good idea what it entailed. Ended up ceremoniously conversing with God about it and then setting flame to it. I am not a pyro. Just felt like it/it's situation deserved some sort of ceremony of letting go. Letting go of any and all negativity in that letter/situation, not carrying anything from them but the good I keep in my heart. My side of the street is clean, as "they" say and I am happy. I love being known as "my girl" to my clients - I am blessed to love my career and the clients who fill my time slots!

My brutha. He is turning mid-fourties this week. I say mid-fourties because I can't remember for the life of me exactly how old he is turning. I can't even remember silly details of unimportant or even important things!  Baby took brain cells - I still love her though. I see so much in him. I love so much about him. I pray a lot for him deep in my heart. Will you too? He is so talented - such skill in his job, a lot of love to give - just a little trapped for now. He has taught himself how to weld and do carpentry. He has made some amazing things. He cares so much for his crew at work and for those who are close to him. He has accomplished a lot, saved lives, risked his own life, and lived a life of generosity. Lord, please in your mercy protect your son. 

Happy Birthday Steven Robert Lamy!

Those cheeks. Need more be said?

We went to a park in downtown Gilbert recently. Apparently we picked the day the water wasn't on, so the splashpad was not working. O was rockin the swim outfit none the less. She discovered hills and what running down them was like. I think she also discovered that the taste of grass and dirt is not pleasant. This being done while she tripped over her own feet going down the hill and landing flat on her face. Giggling.

There was such a great breeze that day and it was all the more plentiful as she came flying down the hill! She get's more beautiful each day, hard to believe but such a blessing. 

I love potatoes. Chips, hash browns, home fries, french fries, Au gratin, twice baked, once baked . . . you name it, I love them (cooked). Apparently so does my daughter. She has discovered where I keep them in a bottom cupboard. I have baking potatoes and these adorable little heirloom fingering potatoes. She has been taking them out each day and talking Oh so sweetly to them. I caught her red-handed today. . . eating a raw one while hiding in the living room. That is just sick and wrong. 

I am missing a few things. 

My memory, for one. Feel a little handicapped about it. 

My mom. Her and dad leave for another adventure of roadtripping to visit the sisters in CO and NE. 

My pre-pregnancy jeans. A lot!

My sisters.

My cat Peanut.

Downtime.

Sleep.

O just snuggling with me when she was a newborn.

Those first few moments of her life in the hospital as I tried to get my head around what miracle just took place. 

Holding my husband's hand.

Having time to shave my legs on a regular basis.