The Big Easy

I'm not talking Louisiana. I'm talking life. Remarked to my sister the other day that I had NO clue how much becoming a mom to one teeny tiny being could change so much of my life. Moms *get* it. I did not get it until I was given the mom shoes to wear. You know the ones, cracked heels and toenails that need a pedicure badly. I used to judge think to myself that those women looked undone. I mean, c'mon. How hard could it be to get yourself ready and actually do your hair? Fool with a CAPITAL f, was I. I didn't know any better, but shame on me still.

I think I am gaining a tad more experience and wisdom each day about perspective and priorities. And, besides It's not really good to wash my hair every day anyway, my curls like day 2 better. Showering is a daily must on my list. Teeth brushing, well on the days when I remember to do it (like 9/10 days) I call it good. Sleep is a luxury (can't say it's over-rated because I am not so far gone that I have forgotten what good sleep is like. Don't get me wrong, O sleeps through the night and I am wildly grateful, but part of her sleep time is my *get it done/time to myself/prayer* time. Again, priorities.)

I have been open to easy things. That sounds bad. Rephrase. I am open to finding easier ways of doing things, open to not trying to make an *event* of many things in my daily life, and keeping things simple. I hear the wise mommas who are on the road ahead of me say that this won't last forever. I will someday, have time again to tend to those cracked heels, keep up on the toenails and perhaps even sleep 24 hours if I so sweetly desire. I just have to hang in at least 18 or so more years . . .


McDonald's drive through, $1 unsweetened ice teas
leftovers on the nights that I work
one huge load of laundry instead of 2 small/medium loads
cute and comfy flip flops for summer
threw away my *25 hour* foundation and stopped stressing about the extra hour in a day it challenged me to
short prayers are still prayers
PBJ works just fine for lunch
standing up against a wall, with a tennis ball between us and rolling it around helps take knots out of my back

Just a few *easies*.

Some of the not-so-easy things these days-

Parenting. I am keenly aware of wanting to form my daughter well with character, faith and morals. In working this past week to teach her about obedience I am really seeing the strength and endurance it takes from a parent to impart these things to a creature who wants the complete opposite. Not that these creatures are evil in anyway, I just don't see them bursting forth from the womb with a desire to do what is right. I see that as our job to teach them. I am excited to be at this place with O. I pray for the grace to stay willing, to rely on God, and to remember the greater importance of these small lessons. As a teacher, I used to plan my years backward. I would look at where the students needed to be by the end of my year with them and then plot down on the calendar a rough sketch of what needed to be taught all the way to the fundamentals of how I ran my classroom in the very beginning. I see this with my parenting too. I want O to be a responsible, hard working, faith filled and loving person (other things too), and how I model those for her, teach her and provide her with experiences to enhance them will aid in getting her to adulthood and self sufficiency. God help me.

Figuring out my faith. I was raised in a faith. I love that faith. Something about it isn't working for me these days. Another journey, really? I'm a little tired from the ones of recent, wouldn't mind a breather.

Friendships. Someone shared on fb an article about older (uhuh, I am now in that crowd) people and friendships. The article commented that friendships get harder as we get older. Our focuses change. No longer are we consumed with social gatherings, phone conversations, etc. We are focused on our spouses and kids. Again, the priorities fit in here. I struggle though. I see some people having close friendships and it looks so easy from the outside. I have a ton of friends, it overwhelms my DH. I don't talk to them often, and I feel really out of touch. I miss the days of long ago, spending upwards of an hour on the phone with one just chatting away, sitting at lunch or going shopping and talking most of the time. I miss the *knowing* that happened in those close friendships. I really miss it.

I will share one final note about myself as we are coming upon one of my favorite seasons. BTS.
Butter the seeds?
Bat the socks?
Be the sucker?
nope.
Back to School!
I have a love affair with office supplies. My DH burst out laughing when I admitted this a few years ago. I could spend hours and more hours in just one office supply store and be completely almost fulfilled. I love post its, pens, paper, folders, calendars, stacky things, sticky things, pencils, mechanical pencils, notepads and more!