Some things I have enjoyed lately:
Hearing the teeny tiny voice of my little mini me signing softly as I sing or humm. Steals my heart each time.
The smooth feel of my steering wheel in the van. I am a texture snob, I admit. The leather is pulled really tight which creates that smooth, unsquishable feeling. Quirky, I know.
A super simple hot sauce that my dear friend Kata gave me: 1 small can tomato sauce, 3 or 4 tepin chiles (mineature pinball sized red chiles usually found in the Mexican spice aisle), 1 or 2 garlic cloves and a bit of oregano to taste - mix all in a blender. Delish.
Experiencing my parents as grandparents to my daughter. Laughter usually fills the space between our phones as we enter into conversation about that precious little wonder. Sometimes when they babysit, dad (Pepere) will call me almost with tears in his eyes to share something amazing she did. He wasn't a softy but he sure is a softy.
Apparently she thinks he's soft too - she rubbed his belly like Buddha and then dozed off!
FFH had a song out a few years ago, "Worship in the Waiting". Beautiful song, great harmonies. This thought came to me today as I wait for a few things to come to fruition. I will try to be present to the moment, not caught up in anxiety and trust that my God has it all t-a-k-e-n-c-a-r-e-o-f!
Grandma (mine) lives with assisted living. She is in her 90's. I have lost count of her exact number like I have lost many simple thoughts since being pregnant! I miss her. We visit as often as possible but I struggle with guilt of not getting there more. I have gone before and walking in her room find her crying. Not for any reason, just because. When I dare to imagine her life today, it is unbearable. No physical pain except for a runny nose. A million things are not good health-wise with her but she is still with us. Why? I pray. Not to be mean in any way, I love her and love her being part of O's life. But, I think she'd be much happier with her sisters and her God, laughing, playing bingo and smoking (will you let her have just one up there?). I keep praying for her each time I go to mass. She is brought communion weekly from the church and someone prays with her. Thank you for being present in that for her Lord. Please console her heart and show us what you desire of us in this time with her. Is there something undone/unforgiven/needed? Let your angels entertain her when we are not there with her - I know she has spiritual eyes and love for you deep in her heart. The tiny statue of You next to her bed tells me that.
The Omahaians are coming! We will be there stop on the way to a family vacation. Funny how I still picture each of my nieces and nephews to be still under 5 yrs of age. P, the oldest is almost beyond the rooftops tall and will be driving any day. Personalities have changed, maturity is setting in and I can't wait to see them.
I used to say as a teacher that I would have loved to put a pair of my shoes out in front of the classroom on meet the teacher night. In them, a sign would read "if you think you can do better, step right in!". Oh yes, I have always had a bit of a bite in my sweet disposition. It is not shown much anymore. I'm like a fine wine - getting better as I age. Back to the shoes. I pray that I can remember that I don't know the road others have been down. I have no place to judge - I am probably judged as much. In those same situations, who knows if I might have chosen exactly what they did, chosen better, chosen worse. I am grateful I have the opportunity to choose things - to do the best I can. Not the best that someone thinks I need/should/they would do. People fascinate me. I enjoy getting to hear some of the journeys that people share with me in my line of work. I learn, I share some, I gain a lot.
Speaking of gain. Damn. I wore a pair of what I thought were super cute crop jeans the other day. Oh my, I turned and caught a sideways glance in a mirror. Shouldn't have looked. What I don't see isn't there, right? Well, I don't know how I could've missed it. My junk in the trunk is packed. I wish I could just embrace it. This is my reality for today. God, grant me the serenity . . .
And on the note - peace out!
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